Saturday, March 28, 2009

Did I do Thaaaaaat?

Last week Saturday evening i went to my first Stag and Doe party. It was pretty cool. It was at the same place my shower was held. I've never been to one before so i didn't know what to expect. There were lots of games and prizes to be won. Food, music and of course drinks that i couldn't even smell. As usual i have to make my regular visit to the bathroom. I was standing outside the bathroom for couple good minutes and whoever was in their kept flushing the toilette, i was like hellooo i really gotta go. They kept doing them. The security at the front desk realized what was going on and she allowed me to use the staff bathroom. I used the bathroom, washed my hand, dried my hands and the person was still in the other bathroom. Lol i don't even want to know what was going on with that person's intestines jah know.

My 4th bathroom visit was the same as the first one and the pee was more intense. I was crossing and uncrossing my legs. Doing my kegels an ting. I knocked the door, bunny hopping all over the place. The lady wasn't at the desk to help me this time. I didn't know what to do. Thank heavens a security was doing his rounds and noticed my dilema. He offered to take me to the female change room on the 2nd floor, i said yes, as i was waiting a while. He went to the second floor and he opened the change room for me. People i don't even know what happened after i guess i couldn't pull down my pants and underwear fast enough cause i had already started to piss myself :(. I've heard this story over and over and over and never for a minute did i think it would happen to me. Thank god i was wearing a shirt dress that covered the jeans AND thanks even more because it was the end of the session,and it was my "one for the road" visit. As i was about to exit the elevator it was kwame entering, he asked where i was coming from and i told him...i was like duuuude "i wet miself" he burst out laughing and called me nasty. We packed up the car went home and handle mi business. Sigh... the joys of being pregnant and not being able to controll the bladder..

Hello Orica, you are 36 weeks Pregnant!!!

Whooohooo, I'm getting there slowly but surely. I'm hoping i have this baby early seeing that 2 of my home girls had their baby girls before their due date? Please GOD?, cause i'm here singing Sizzla,s "rugged road".

What's new?

Part deux of the Lamaze class was last Tuesday. I cannot stress enough what a waste of money that class is. $90 to sit and watch videos of women giving birth. I mean i've been watching a baby story ever since i discovered TLC and i've seen a live birth before, so why de hell she wants me to sit for half a class to watch mini clips of more "uncensored" birth stories?. We visited the maternity floor for the second half of the class. Walked around looking at each birthing room (they all looked the same lol). She showed us where equipements are kept and how the birthing jacuzzi works. It's one unique piece of equipement i must say. That was about it. End of class, "REFUUUUND". Tuesday is my last class, i'm interested to see what we will do for the last class.
P.S.: All who had money on the Muslim couple not coming back...we lost, just when i was about to say "damn they really didn't come back", they showed up. In style too, a whole 1:30 minutes late lol.
P.S.S: Why on God's green earth would the instructor give us a pampers booklet of expired coupons? Just what am i going to do with all those expired coupons?

What else?
I'm begining to know what pregnancy is all about. Mi back hurt, mi foot dem hurt and swollen. I'm already wearing flip flops around town because if Kwame aint around i cannot put my shoes or socks on. Mi pumpum hurt, mi lower back hurt and yuh know what? this is only the begining. Cause i'm sure over the next couple weeks the pain will only intensify. Laawd geezam pitymus crime, what am i going to do then people? Cause i'm already walking and holding up my vangina as if it's falling out and everyday Kwame only begging me to wait for mommy Smart. I'm like talk to yuh child dred, i'm not running things.

We won't even talk about the bathroom visits. That has become a normal part of my life, i can walk to and from the bathroom still asleep.

Looking forward to week 37...Baby will be full term and i can haul her ass out if i want to lol.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Changes :(

Couple days ago i stood infront the mirror looking at myself. I noticed some faint stretched marks and i thought to myself, cool they are faint, it's not that serious. I wanted to see what was going on on the other side (uder the belly) so i grabbed the hand held mirror. A tears fell from my eyes because i knew then, i'll never wear a 2 piece or a carnival costume ever again. By looking at it, i could tell it's going to be around my belly button. My sides will be ok, but if u know me i'm already self conscious about the stretch marks i have on my butt and nobody has ever seen me in bathing suit without a shorts over it. SO imagine now? lol. All i kept saying to my self was "thank god i wasn't stupid enought to get knocked up in my early 20's because all the therapy in this world couldn't help me". Honestly i can see why women get an abdominoplasty, not that i ever knock them for getting it or any surgery for that matter but this shit really plays on your selfesteem and your emotions. This isn't a small cahnge at all, for me it is HUGE. I am used to my body being one way and now i don't even want to imagine what it will look like after the belly goes down. Lets hope it nuh look like Freddy Crougars face all scared up, wrinkled up with flaps that can cover my face. That would be reason enough to fall into postpartum depression.

My Lesson for the day? Do not listen to the people who tell you "oh, if you don't see stretch marks by the end of month 6, that means you wont get em" ERRRRM, WRONG. Your belly grows rapidly within your last month of pregnancy, so it only makes sense that if you are going to get stretch marks that's when they will make themselves visible.

Lesson #2: No amount of bio oils, oils with vitamin E's, shea butters, cocoa butters gonna help yuh. If you were destined to have stretch marks you will get them. The oils and lotions only help with the itching and dryness, nothing else.

Sooo, word to the wise, if you know you got issues like me, i say the money you gonna use to pay a therapist, put it in a jar and call it the mommy sugery funds lmao.

Choosing The God Parents

I noticed as soon as i mentioned i was pregnant one of the first questions people would ask was "Who is the God mother", and up to this day people still ask. Of course these questions annoy me because here i am trying to get through my pregnancy in one piece and hoping that my child comes out with all her limbs attached and all they can focus on is who God mother going to be? Honestly, i haven't thought that far down the line. All i've been dreaming about is what she will look like, what she will sound like, will she chat nuff like Kwame? or will she be somewhat shy and quiet like me lol and more importantly will it really be a she? ha. Wouldn't that be something? People trust me i'm not being miserable and what not, it's just once you are in my shoes you will realize that certain things people focus on are just not important at the time. Of course finding God parents for the child is important but my thing is, she aint born yet. I have lots of time, the baby doesn't have to be baptized within the first 3 months or 6 months, shucks she could get baptized at age one if i so choose. This is a very important decision, so i'd rather not rush and regret it in the end.

The million and 10 questions prompted me to do a research on what a God parent really is cause to tell you the truth i really didn't know much about it. I do have 2 God children and sometimes i regret saying yes because i do not live in the same country as the children and i don't get the chance to chill with them and get to know them. Most people get in it for the hype..i think i did because i was young and i thought it was cool to be a God parent and i do not want to make the same mistake with my child. The information i came across was very helpful and by having conversations with Kwame we pretty much know what we are looking for in the person/s we choose as God Parent/s.

I liked this little outline of choosing a God Parent.

When you are having a baby, choosing a godparent for your child can be one of the most important tasks you undertake in these beginning days of your child’s life. Choosing a godparent should not be a popularity contest nor should you feel pressured to choose a family member simply because it is ‘their turn’ or because they are your brother or sister. A godparent is someone who promises to guide your child in his faith and help to raise him the way you wanted him raised in the event of your demise. It is a mistake to pick a godparent assuming that nothing will happen to you and it doesn’t really matter who you choose.

Never choose a friend to be a godparent unless you have no suitable family members. Friends often move on and lose touch and someone who you are no longer in contact with is not likely to come back into your child’s life simply because you are gone. Friends often don’t take the godparent role seriously. Choose someone in your family that you know will be a responsible and willing recipient of the honor. The godparent of your child should share your faith if possible, if they are to continue your child’s education and guidance after you are gone. It is difficult for someone to guide another person in something they are not familiar with.

Be sure your choice of godparent is aware of your wishes where your child is concerned. A godparent is not necessarily the person who your child is left to when you die, be clear about these things in your will. Try and keep your child familiar and close with his godparents so that he is comfortable receiving guidance from them if the need arises.

Always talk to your prospects before making a final decision, be sure they share your vision and also, be sure they are willing to take on the responsibility. It is not wrong to tell your candidates that you are still thinking about it and want to get some more information about how they think they would handle the situation. This is a serious decision and should be arrived at carefully and responsibly.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Week 35


YEAAAAAH, i'm moving on up, to the labour side, i'm moving on up, finally i'm coming closer to seeing my chiiild. Ha how yuh like mi remix? i know, i know i'm off the hook. LOL

So i've made some serious progress people. All the clothes and Blankies got washed. yeaaaa, I am FINISHED, FINITE, FINITO, badda bing, badda boom. I have 2 bins, one with clothes and the other with blankies for my mother to get her iron on. If you know me well enough, you will know that i am not great friends with the iron and ironing board. I hate ironing with a passion. Sometimes i feel the clothes come out looking worse after i is that bad. Some people asked why i need to iron the the baby stuff. For one they are all mashed up like crackers and 2 the lady offered so who am i to say no.

The baby's room? uhmmm, it's on the up on up. Kwame primed the walls so by this weekend i should be looking at a pink and brown room. HOPEFULLY.

Am i finished buying the important stuff? Oh helllz naa.
Car seat and stroller ( i did say buying a stroller is like buying a car..harrrd to choose)
Crib set and mattress ( ordering next week)
Crib bedding. ( uhmm i might have to change my mind on this whole hello kitty theme and settle for something else, dunno. We thought about driving to the border but i don't think i can sit in the car for such a long drive. I knew someone who was going but i just didn't trust them with my money. It's hard times u know people, i can't have people running away with money i don't have lol.

Those are the big items that we need to get. Working on em slowly but surely. people don't worry i can always kick kwame out he bed and have the baby sleep with me if her room aint ready. :)...easy and simple solution.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Labour & Delivery Class

Today i had my first "Labour and Delivery" class, also known as Lamaze class. I must tell you that i really wasn't feeling it. Not because i felt like i wouldn't learn anything new but at how much it costs ($90). I thought all these classes were included in the hospital registration cost. So you must know how pissed i was when the lady told me the one class cost that much money. Frig you'd think i'm some woman with no Canadian status at the amount of funds my broke ass had to fork up to these people. Sigh...anywho, last minute kwame paid for it cause i sure wasn't lol.

We went to the fist of 3 classes this evening and brought my pillow with me as i was told to do by the instructor.

*sidebar* Thank GOD Kwame was adament about going with me because i would have felt real out of place. I was the only black pepper among all the salts and brown sugars and it would have been even worse being the only woman there without a partner hmmmmmm.

The instructor was very funny and informative. Too much information if you asked me. The funniest part of the evening for me was when she decided to give a demonstration on various positions to give birth in. She got up on the table, layed flat on her back, legs wide open and started breathing hard and pushing...the funny part was she did this infront of a muslim couple and you should have seen the look on their faces, facking priceless hahahahaaaaaaaaa. She then squat infront of them, pushing and breathing haard, face all made up. Kwame was like but wah de ass? while i'm chuckling lol because i just couldn't keep my eyes off the couple. The lady didn't stop there either, she got on all 4's and wiggling her butt hahahahaaa, breathing, and pushing. I was like fadda God dis woman gone tru. Through all my chuckles and watching the couple i did get what she was trying to show us. The traditional missionary position is not conducive to quick and swift labour. Stooping/squating or being on all 4's are both great as gravity helps and being in those positions opens the pelvis even more and gives the baby more room to make her entrance.

People when you hear me say i'm cleaning or walking up and down please hush all yuh asses thank you very much because if i cock up everyday infront of my tv eating and getting fat i am PHUCKED, ROYALLY. Sitting down does not help, it makes pregnancy longer and delivery will also be longer. Walking and keeping active brings the baby down much faster and and it also prevents back labour. Back labour is when the hardest part of the baby's head is touching the hardest part of you pelvic bottom...Laawd i have to show allyuh visually. Explaining is hard. Bottom line is, get up off your asses and walk, cook, clean, do the things you normally do and life will be much easier in the birthing room. Another tip is to do at least 50 squats daily because it also help with opening up that pelvic is alll about that pelvic and cerivix region ladies and gentlemen. Lol i will obey all these lil exercising rules because i want to be as open as possible for that big head and shoulders.

Next, she talked about Keigel exercises, i'm quiet sure all of us knows what it is and how it's done (if you don't know, listen to the million and 10 dancehall songs telling the girls to quint it quint it or google). That was a next priceless moment with the Muslim lady hahahaha. Oh gosh and this woman kept talkin about clit this and clit that, she did not give 2 shit about the cultural differences in that room AT ALLLLL. I was a bit mortified when she told us that we would lose control of our bladder because our vaginal sphincter would wear out after the 2nd and 3rd child. Hence why we have to practice Keigels because it strengthens the vaginal muscles.

Each couple took turns in giving each other massages and learned how to breathe when in labour. I guess the only way to get quality massage from Kwame has to be in a "controlled" environment lol or away from the tv. I told her my back hurts at nights and finding a comfy position to sleep is hard. She stuffed pillows under my leg, belly and behind me as if it was some new and great idea she just came up with lol. I already do all that, it nuh help especially if i have to keep doing it every 20 minutes because i have to keep going to the blasted bathroom.

All in all the class was nothing spectacular, i still think i could do without it. I mean i'll have a nurse/midwife by my side when the big day comes and she coaches me on the phone each time we talk. A waste of money if u ask me.

Stay tuned for next week. We get to visit the birthing center.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Braxton Hicks

Braxton Hicks Contractions is also known as false contractions. According to physicians, Braxton Hicks starts at six weeks into pregnancy. Some people feel them that early and lucky ones like me start feeling them in the 3rd trimester. I remember scaring the girls the night before the shower lol, it was kind of funny. The pain isn't consistent it just hits once in a blue moon. It doesn't last long, neither is it anything for me to double over and holler about, but i can do without it, pain is pain. I don't need no flipping prepping, all dat i can do without. This thing is only scaring the heebie jeebies out of me.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Let The Count down Begin!!!!

I went from not really having a belly to having a water melon for a belly in the space of ONE WEEK. What is really going on here people? I am scared of what i'm going to look like in couple weeks.

Guess what? this past Thursday made 34 weeks. Whooohoooo, 6 more weeks to go. I am excited and scared. Scared because i doh have squat done and this child could come anytime she feels she is ready. As i said before i am moving in slow motion and there is nothing i can do about it because i lost control of my body the day i conceived.

I have 2 medium sized bins containing Clothes and blankets to be washed. I decided to get started on some of them today. I went out and bought my dettol and blue (a lil blue bar that u swish around in the water to rinse). I napped as usual and woke up at 3 pm. Put my mp3 cd in and got to working. I cleaned down the kitchen sinks with dettol and washed the stuff in there while i washed the bulky stuff in the machine....buuut not before cleaning down the machine and the dryer with dettol people. I also took it a little further by adding dettol to the wash. I got that nice baby scent. I pulled up the breakfast bar chair to the sink, sat on it and rocked out while washing the stuff.

After washing and drying, i folded the stuff neatly back into the bins. I feel soo great that i was able to stay focused and get a good amount of washing done. Now i'll take this bin to my mother's on Thursday for her to iron.

Oh by the way, we did get the paints, now all mr man has to do is get to painting.

6 more weeks to go Pressaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009


I've been slacking off i know. You guys just wouldn't understand. The pressure is on, not just with the time but my body is running in slow motion. All the weight is taking a toll on my back and the nights are getting harder. It is so hard finding a comfy position to sleep nowadays and it seems like each time i do i have to go to the bathroom.

*sidebar*: Are you guys even reading my damn blog or did you guys just make me create a blog for nothing?....I don't like talking to myself you know. Drop a note here and there to let me know that you guys are reading and i'm not just doing this for the people out there in cyberspace. Or else doh ask mi to do anything for allyuh eva again lol...ah serious and joking at the same time lmao.

The day after my shower, i had my appointment. You see it was supposed to be at 2pm but because i had asked my house guests if they wanted to tag along with me i had to change it to 9:30 am because according to one of them "she had a date". I woke up and got ready, i really didn't want to wake them up because they've had a rough couple of days. All i heard were foots steps coming up the stairs and they were like nope you are not leaving us, we are coming. They got ready and we headed to the appointment. My Dr. and i chatted for couple minutes then we headed to the examining room. I mentioned to him that the girls would like to hear the heart beat. Once he was through measuring me, he called them in to listen to the heart beat. The look on their faces were priceless.

We went back home on a mission to wake the other 2 up, as we were hungry and we wanted to go eat. Plus missy with the date was running a tight ship with the time. We ended up at Jackastors for brunch, had some laughs and good food. Rashida and i had to go to the bathroom and while we were there she said "if you want to see where i'm going you can come". Of course i said "YES", cause i'm fass right. We got back to the table and motioned to the Waiters, we got our ish together and Tamar asked me for the house keys as she had to take Alicia to the airport.

Off we were to only God knows where. Well Amanda and Shida knew but i had no clue. I was just enjoying the ride. We ended up downtown and parked. We walked towards the Royal york Hotel....uhmmm we were going to the RYH. LOl. I was like what we doing here....hold up who do you know here?...Which rich man you find that is staying up in here? lol. They payed me no attention. Once we ended up in the underground pathway (u guys should check it out, beautiful down there) i was alittle lost. I suddenly realised that we were not visiting anyone. We ended up at a spa and i said to myself oh, ok she's getting a massage. I then heard, "reservations for Orica Williams, Amanda Job and Rashida Drinks". I was like EH? lol. I was shocked. I then started asking questions like, what if i had decided to go to the airport to see Bird off? They were like we were going to do everything in our power to get you in that's a good thing yuh nosey lol.

I was being treated to a spa ya'll. Damn as if they didn't do enough for me the day before. We robbed up and got a pedicure then off to our separate rooms to get our massages. Mine had to be special cause you know i'm a special case. NO people, there wasn't a big hole in the middle of the massage bed to fit my belly. I had to take turns lying on each side, then on my back for 10 mins. Oh, my body soooo needed that session. Had i been on my back for the whole session, i would have knocked out for sure.

I swear they don't know how grateful i am....words or gifts just wouldn't cover it.

Thank you ladies.....from the catacombs of my heart (LMFAO) i am truely, truely Thankful, Grateful and thankful for a wonderful day.

PS...i think i could use one more of that spa day cause mi back, mi back, mi back, mi blurt naaaawt back. It is killing me.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Showers of Love and Blessings

Happy shower dayyy, was my greeting with a nicely rolled diaper with a pink bow tied around it. Everyone was hustling and bustling. Alicia and i just sat around and watched while keeping an eye on the clock as i had a appointment at 1pm. I had to go and prettify miself at M.A.C. If you've been through pregnancy before i'm sure you know how drained and run down a person can look. I wasn't having that crap. Nope, i had to look swanky from head to toe my people. I went back to the mall AGAIN with my head looking like a crazy woman, got my make up done and did some running around with Kwame. We reached back home and i got myself dressed......when i was all put together i burst out in song...."i feel pretttyyyy, i feeel prettty and wittty and gaaaay" lol, that is my song right thur.

Now, we were all ready and we headed to the location. When we walked in, the people all clapped lol, it felt so wedding receptionish. I walked around and hugged and thanked everyone for coming. OMG guys, let me tell you about the room. The girls did an AMAZING job. I have never been to a baby shower so posh lol, for real. The girls made a cake out of diapers, it served as the big center piece. The other center pieces were rolled up diapers wrapped in pink and brown bow ties. It was all too beautiful. The food was amazing, god bless mi uncle for that coconut shrimp, it was Banging. The games were fun and the people seemed to enjoyed playing them. The music was nice and easy going. I loved every minute of it. They gifts were awesome, i got everything i wanted from my registery....well almost and up to this day i'm in awe at how much we are loved. We really do have great people around us.

Of course my day didn't go off without a glitch, but i've decided not to focus my energy on the negative. I'm truely thankful for the people i call friends and events like these is when we find out who is really down for us. If my eyes were not open before now it is.

Again, thanks to my N.A.Ps planning committee; Rashida, Amanda and Tamar and the lovely people who contributed their time; Alisa, Uncle T, Lucretia, Amanda's mommy, daddy And Kwame. Ohhh and Chris for providing the people with some nice music and last but not least picture man Neddy Nyce. Neddy did a wonderful job with the pictures. I cannot forget my friends who traveled from, Houston and New york to share this moment with me and also the ones who were planning to attend but couldn't. I also thank them for the gifts they sent in their absents. I love you guys to infinity and thanks for loving me back.


Whooohoooo, one mo day before the big day.

So, i did get some sleep, BUT, my chiney bumps were too tight so i didn't get to enjoy it but i was satisfied with the little i got. Everyone was busy running around doing their thing. I rested a little big more and waited till about 4pm to go to the mall. I had to get my eye brows done and picked up a few things. I wrote my list cause people, nowdays my brain bad, bad, baaaaad. I cannot remember anything to save myself. At times i feel like i'm being hit with early Alzheimers, true ting.

Tamar and i went to the mall and yup i went with the big bumps in my head and felt nooo ways about it either. Of course the white folks thought it was gorgeous and the black ones kept looking at me as if i were some mad woman that got away from Bellevue. I didn't pay them too much attention cause i was on a mission, get eye brows done, find a cardigan for my dress and find Kwame something to wear. Yup, he trusted me to buy him clothes, not that he's some picky person cause if you know Kwame, he is far from picky when it comes to dressing. His fave is jeans with Football (soccer) jersey's. So, i was all too happy to buy him something. We got everything we needed and left the mall but not before making a quick stop at the grocery store. We went home and there were more people in the house. Amanda and Rashida, heeeeeey. I was soo happy to see the girlies. We cooked, ate and drink ( juice for me). Kwame had couple friends over and my other cousin Lucretia came over so it was non stop chatting, drinking, music and laughing. Finally some of the chics ditched me and went downstairs to do whatever it was they were doing and they made it very clear that i wasn't allowed down their. MEANIES.

Alicia and i chilled with Kwame and the others untill i couldn't take it anymore and went off to bed.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


A hot mess of a day. Tired, but couldn't sleep. I had all kind of crazy things going on in my head plus i was excited about the weekend. MY SHOWER!!!. I washed my hair, twist and chiney bump for curls (damn dem lil shits hurt). I then decided to finish setting up the rooms for the girls and relax. Again i tried to fall asleep but maan i just couldn't and to add to the madness, i had a crazy hair do that didn't help the situation.

I prepared some dinner and waited patiently for my lil Hummingbird to show up. She did with a friend and we all limed and drink, (sparkling grape juice for me). Damn they even made me feel special and included me while they took shots. Aint nothing like flinging back shots of Sparkling Grape juice, for a minute i thought i was getting tipsy, lol.

Shortly after that i went to bed with some hope of getting some sleep.